(Above: J. Conrad Frank plays in Buyer & Cellar at Oregon Contemporary Theatre; photo courtesy of Lois Tema Photography.)

By Kelly Oristano

Oregon Contemporary Theatre’s Not-Quite-Post-Pandemic Season continues apace this month, with the delightful one-actor comedy, Buyer & Cellar. Written by Jonathan Tolins, directed by Craig Willis, and starring J. Conrad Frank, Buyer & Cellar is a smart, funny, and endearing fictional look behind the curtain of one of showbiz’s worst kept secrets.

As Alex More, Mr. Frank enters and informs us in a direct disclaimer that this play is a work of fiction, that he is an actor and this is a made up story written by a guy named Jon. It couldn’t possibly be a true story, because if it were true, the object of the story would have grounds to sue, and the object of the story is the famously litigious Barbra Streisand. So it’s fiction, got it? (Wink.)

If, even once in your life, you’ve heard the tale of what’s in Barbra’s basement, then you have all the background you need to go see this play, and you should, because it’s a near perfect exploration of the question, “What must that be like?”. If you are one of the poor souls who has never heard of the wonders in Streisand’s Cellar, the first ten minutes will give you all the grounding you need. Best not to spoil it here. If you know, you know.

Alex, an LA-based aspiring actor, finds himself employed in Barbra’s basement. This can mean spending days or weeks down there alone, dusting and keeping the basement operation moving smoothly. Occasionally it means actual encounters with Babs herself, which start tentatively, a comic search for a shared system of communication for Alex and Barbra. Through the evening the encounters become more frequent, more friendly, then more contentious (which is a development of friendship if you look at it a certain way), and eventually the relationship becomes creative/professional as Barbra recruits Alex to be her “Acting Coach.” This evolution is somehow both fanciful, as Alex co-creating a new version of Gypsy for Ms. S to produce and star in seems like a blue-sky fantasy made too real, but is also totally in keeping with the public record of Barbra Streisand’s collaborators. Her stylists and designers have often made the vertical move to producing or directing. Because she’s magic.

The dramatic arc of the play is quite simply this Alex and Barbra relationship. As a simple drama it’s very satisfying. They meet, they jibe, they conflict, there’s climax and catharsis. It’s well-crafted but it’s not really about that. As we’re moving through that arc, we are also engaging with a full, clever, funny, and original exegesis of the person, the idea, and the phenomenon of Barbra. It explores at some depth what she means to gays, to Jews, to Hollywood and Broadway, to music, and to conservatives and liberals as well. “They talk about me on Fox, it’s draining,” she says to Alex at one revealing point.  None of this is heavy-handed, it remains a character-driven comedy; it just so happens that a central character is less a person and more a cultural force of nature.

While Barbra is the phenomenon, J. Conrad Frank is phenomenal, standing this entire story and all its characters up with a tender grace and stiletto comic timing. In addition to Alex and Barbra, he serves us Sharon, Babs’ House Manager, a wonderful characterization; Barry, Alex’s boyfriend, who as a gay Brooklyn-born Jew is “allowed” to make the anti-Barbra argument on occasion; and in one hilarious scene, James Brolin.

Tolins, Willis and Frank have collaborated to avoid the much-mocked pitfalls of One Person Shows. Alex will address the audience from time to time, but there will be no heavy monologues from shifting perspectives, no quick costume changes to show character shifts, no earnest spotlight to show He Really Means It. As produced here, it’s less a One Person Show and more a normal play written for one actor.

The creative team did fine work all around. Amy Dunn’s set is a bright stately room that easily stands in for many parts of Barbra’s Basement, and which with some clever tweaks from David George’s light design can become Alex’s LA apartment. A standout feature of Dunn’s design is a beautiful wire frame dress form that at first gives just a hint of what the basement is about, but by the end starts to convey a good deal more than that. Bradley Branam’s important sound elements are integrated seamlessly.

Buyer & Cellar presents, in sum, a perfectly believable and fully justified Barbra, even a kind and wise one. If she saw this production, it’s almost impossible to imagine her suing. Catch it before the parade passes by.

Buyer & Cellar at Oregon Contemporary Theatre

When: 7:30 p.m. on January 27-29 and February 3-5; 2 p.m. on January 30 and February 6

Where: Oregon Contemporary Theatre, 194 W. Broadway, Eugene

Tickets: $20-$44, available at the ticket office, 541-465-1506, or online at octheatre.org

Information: 541-684-6988 (OCT administrative office) or online at octheatre.org

Covid details:

  • Face masks are required at all times at OCT, including while watching a performance.
  • Proof of vaccination: Upon entry, patrons must show proof of full COVID-19 vaccination OR proof of a negative COVID-19 test within 48 hours of the date of the performance. Patrons can show either paper or digital documentation (including a photo of your vaccination card), along with a matching photo ID.
  • “Full COVID-19 vaccination” means 14 days after a single-dose vaccine or 14 days after the final dose in a two-dose vaccine series. Vaccination cards and/or test results must be from a licensed provider, laboratory, or health care provider. Self-reported vaccination records or at-home test results not verified by a health care provider cannot be accepted.
  • Actors are fully vaccinated but will only be unmasked while performing.
  • No concessions will be sold until further notice.